Thursday, July 05, 2007

The "Chicken Ball" Combo

There's a small Chinese restaurant next door to where I work that sells tasty yet cheap lunch combinations. Until now, most of the employees have been happily eating there, but a newer employee discovered that the restaurant had been shut down earlier in the year due to "inadequate hand-washing stations, unsanitary conditions, and mouse infestation".

To be completely honest, you never know what's going on in the kitchen in any restaurant you visit, so something like this doesn't even make me think twice. Many places of this type have been shut down for one reason or another, and if you like the food, you're just going to have to accept the fact.

I decided to write up a humorous rebuttal to this situation and emailed it around to the office staff. Here's a copy of it:

After the unfortunate discovery of the one-day shutdown of our favorite local Chinese restaurant, I feel it necessary to send out a message to counter the points listed in the health report.
  1. Inadequate hand-washing stations  - The health inspectors are obviously uninformed when it comes to the preparation of Chinese food.  Much of the food is chopped coarsely with large knifes, cooked in woks under high temperatures with large spoons, and piled nonchalantly onto rice or chow mein.  There is little or no need to come in contact with the food by hands, thus the lack of hand washing stations.
  2. Unsanitary conditions - Apparently the health board hasn't seen some people's kitchens at home yet!  When the chef drags the side of beef across the floor, it actually leaves a clean spot!!  And the coating of grease on the counters just helps things move quicker!
  3. Mouse infestation - This has to be a fabrication because the restaurant was re-opened within a day.  There's no way a serious infestation could be resolved in that amount of time.  A day later, to bring back customers and reassure them, they introduced a new "Chicken Ball" combo!
This PROVES, without a shadow of a doubt that the food is completely safe for human consumption!  I'd like to suggest a special lunch visit for those who are convinced (or were never swayed by the propaganda).

Now, while this is mostly humor, the part about dragging a side of beef across the floor is a true story I heard from a relative who worked delivering meat quite a few years ago. So this stuff happens!

After my email, some people really decided to go, and I had to put my money where my mouth is. And was it ever tasty, as usual! Sweet and sour pork, beef and veggies, and chow mein, with a bowl of hot and sour soup. Mm-mm-mmm!

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6 Smart Remarks:

Anonymous Tasha said...

What you didn't get the "CHICKEN BALL COMBO"? Hehe... Great post!

9:59 AM  
Anonymous Heather said...

The chicken ball combo is made from all the mice they caught!

7:36 AM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

Your point is totally true...McD's probably isn't any cleaner than some Chinese or other restaurants...but yet a person doesn't think twice about eating there.

Just pray over the food...and enjoy! ;)

5:13 AM  
Anonymous Nick Amado said...

Cheap Chinese is the best place on earth!!!!

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Mom Hoyer said...

You are too funny!
We enjoy good Chinese food but
I must say I wonder about their kitchens and what they prepare.

We've heard alot including health inspectors finding frozen cats in their freezers!

Business is booming at most Restaurants...so I guess people just keep coming back for more!

12:25 AM  
Anonymous e. said...

When going to a Chinese Resturant is is like taking you life into your own hands.

A few years ago I got so violently ill while eatting at a Chinese Buffet...I had to be assisted out by 2 people and straight to the U of A Hospital. The only good thing out of the whole ordeal....I did not have to pay for the meal..(almost paid with my life though !!!)

9:38 PM  

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